Thursday, 29 September 2005


I think, shockingly, that I may be over that initial phase of being completely obsessed with J. I only know this because I've noticed that he has entered that phase himself; a number of months after me because he's just naturally more cautious.

It's quite charming if tiring: he thinks everything I do or say is 'cute' (which of course makes me wonder if he secretly thinks I'm stupid, which he of course claims isn't the case), he is constantly kissing and hugging me and brings me coffee from Starbucks (which he hates) in bed. All telltale signs of a fallen man.

But whereas I probably would have loved this a few months ago, I now find that I'm not exactly mildly irritating, but just indifferent to it. This could be because I'm generally feeling low, but I think it's just one of those things. Love never seems to match in a timely fashion for me.

And a second point today; as I'm watching the news about relief efforts for Katrina and Rita victims, and even still for the Asian tsunami from last year, I'm wondering how long it will be before the climate changes so drastically that we stop caring about these things. Or will we still care when there are seven or eight grade 5 hurricanes per year, when hurricanes start originating outside Brazil on a regular basis?

It is not completely off topic. Is that what a relationship is like as well? Where the grand gestures in the beginning seem really daunting and impressive, but then as time passes by they just become less and less so.

Then again there are people who remain compassionate; women who foster 50 children over the course of their life and love the last one as much as the first one. I hope I'm one of those people, at least in this relationship.

Now I am going off topic. Does anyone else have problems uploading photos? It's really pissing me off!


  1. Thanks for reading my blog.

    Regarding your situation with J (if I may have some input), it's been my experience that when I completely surrender myself to someone (and start doing gestures like the ones you describe), surprisingly "the magic is over". I noticed that as long as I am guarded, women are intrigued and attracted. It's happened to me twice in my life.

    I agree with your "Love never seems to match in a timely fashion", love is like cha-cha-cha, when one marches forward, the other retreats and viceversa.

    I am not perfect, and in my blog you'll read that I probably brought my situation upon myself, however, My advice is, cherish what you have. Talk to him, don't bottle up these feelings.

    You may or may not agree with me, but we can always agree to disagree.

    Peace and love.

    Metal Babble

  2. I don't know what it is about your writing that I dig so much... I just know that I love it. Maybe it's the way you think or walk around issues before coming at them. Anyways. Your great. Cheers, J.


Thanks for not just lurking..

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