Saturday, 26 November 2005

The big question

In a few days time, it's my ex boyfriend's birthday (and no, although J's birthday was fairly recent as well, they're not the same starsign).

The question is, should I text him or not?

I haven't heard from him or about him for a whole year. I texted him last year and he got back to me saying he was doing well and to contact him when I moved to London.

I never contacted him, partly because I was busy, and partly because I just don't really have anything to say to him.

That is not to say, however, that I don't care if he's alive or dead. I do. And my mother does too, she used to really like him, and still asks if I've heard anything from him from time to time.

I am in touch with most my other exes, and the only reason I'm not in touch with him is that it still feels me with guilt to think that I dumped someone.

I emailed him after the bombs this summer to see how he was, but got no reply. However he didn't perish, and the email didn't bounce, so he's clearly seen it. He has probably moved on; all I want to know is if he's alive and hopefully well.

My best friend P says I have renounced any right to know anything when I broke up with him, and I realise that, but is it really that bad to send a text? The reason I think it might be bad is that I don't want to meet up with him, I just want to know if he's OK.

Comments from regular readers gratefully received, I know you are bursting with useful advice on this one. But hurry up, the birthday is fast approaching...

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  1. Ola!

    thanks for the advice, It's so cold that its difficult to find courage to buy beach gear ...but I am on a deadline so I guess it will have to be tomorrow.

    Regarding contacting exes, well if you already got in touch during the bombings and he didn't reply I would assume that he is still hurt and not in the mood to hear from you. I wouldn't get in touch as I wouldn't want him to get upset on his birthday. But that is just my opinion... know better about this guy and his feelings. I was in a similar situation and found out pretty quickly that the guy didn’t feel very good to see me happy and moving on..sooo…hope it helps

    Have a great warm Sunday,

    PS. by not allowing comments from people not registered with blogger you make it really hard for someone to getin touch ;o]

  2. Of course, your friend P is right. What reason is there for you to try so hard to maintain contact, if you don't mind me asking? My advice, given freely on this occasion, is just to let it go.

  3. I think I want to keep in touch from a mixture of guilt and curiosity. In no particular order. I kind of want to know he's OK but don't want to talk to him. I think you're all right; I should leave him alone.. He'll still have my number should he some day have a High Fidelity 'what does it all mean' moment.

    And Portug, you're right, I should allow anonymous comments now that there's word verification.

  4. I may be a little late, but I think you know where I stand on the contacting exes issue. It's just not a good thing. I used to be friendly with all my exes to some degree. What this would lead to is drawn out sporadic contact where sometimes feelings are expressed only to be regretted again later. Not to mention that any current relationship is surely going to suffer instead of being improved upon.


Thanks for not just lurking..

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