Wednesday, 2 November 2005

Going away

J is going away this weekend with his group of friends. They go away every year for a weekend of fun, and this year they're venturing abroad for the first time.

Can I just say that I actually don't feel apprehensive about this at all. I'd love to think this reflects well on me for being such a non-possessive girlfriend, but in fact I think it reflects well on him.

I don't think I've ever met such a trustworthy person. You could argue that it is because he's to insecure to come on to another woman or to proceed should someone jump on him, but in reality he is just a really sound guy. I really don't think he would cheat on me.

Here I go again! I've never thought that about anyone before. Indeed I've been with guys where it was mutually agreed we'd both be free to do our things on the side and that was fine.

Am I putting my head in a guillotine by trusting someone? Or is it just one of those things that are required for a relationship to move forwards?

Since I can safely and anonymously beat my own drum in this blog I would however like to add that I'm not a very jealous person to begin with. With cheating I kind of figure that if it's going to happen, it's going to happen, and being completely paranoid about it won't really make a difference sadly.

When I say make a difference I mean to the actuall act happening as well as to the pain afterwards.

Finding out that someone you're intimate with has been with someone else is incredibly painful. Personally I get angry, but the anger is for the most part overshadowed by excruciating sheer pain. I just want to curl up into a little ball and die.

But back to J. I hope he has a wonderful weekend. But he better remember to call me.

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2 comments:

  1. 'coz you are safely & anonymously beatting ur own drum in this blog I would love to beat my own your comments section

    do bear wth me :)

    Hmmm,,,,first of all tell me why ain't u accompanying ur bf :(

    Pooor he ...i bet he'd be missing you like hell....but then don't get disheartened if your cell does not ring ,, becoz it happens with almost EVERYONE -- metalking of hte recenttimes!

    "I just want to curl up into a little ball and die." :( this sentence made me go weak in my knees and empty in my tummy....////so next time moderate ur visitor petrifying statements.

    And as i don't want to pry so much on my first visit...just one last question...miss....Does j stamd fpr jason ?!!?!!

    :) me really envious abt ur ID....wish i too had that mask of zorro....

    :) Reading ur llines...my faith;'s reasurred in the lines..."The most precious thing which a man can ever own is a woman's heart"

    :) You too have a great weekend ahead !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, well, I'm not accompanying my man because I wouldn't dream of interfering with him seeing his friends alone, just as much as he knows not to interfer with me and my friends. It's really really important I think to be able to see your friends alone sometimes.

    Secondly, I'm working. Weekend work, gotta love it.

    Thirdly, it doesn't stand for Jason. You're the second person to ask that, actually!

    Hope your weekend is good too!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for not just lurking..

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