Sunday, 13 November 2005


J and I went for a swim yesterday in our local pool, which was really very lovely. London suffers from a lack of public pools, and it was really just lucky that I ended up living relatively near one.

I was completely knackered from sleep deprivation, and really had to struggle with myself to drag my ass down the street, but once I was there it was great. I did 50 laps easily. It is probably the only sport in the world where I can to some extent outperform J (playstation doesn't count here) but that's not really why I like it.

Since he is less efficient than I am, I would end up doing a lap, and on coming back to the shallow end he would be standing there waiting for a little kiss.

Kissing is good. People don't do it enough. Although the guard woman disagreed, and waggled her finger at us, despite there being absolutely no tongue involved.

That is what life should be like. Being able to swim to the deep end, making an inelegant u-turn and coming back to safe ground to someone who can't wait to kiss you.

I still remember the first time J and I kissed. We'd spent a lot of time together already, and I was just dying to kiss him, but I didn't want to make the first move. Not because I'm that kind of girl, but because we'd talked the talk and he told me he didn't want a relationship, so I was just trying to be polite.

We were sitting in the sofa at my house, chatting. We'd spent the whole evening together, we'd gone for a walk huddled up together underneath a huge golf umbrella, the weather was awful, but it just registered, I didn't really notice properly. He smelt fantastic, he always does; not in a perfumey way, just of... him.

Although I had firmly told myself I would not kiss him, there was something he said that made me laugh, I leaned over to play-punch him, and suddenly we were kissing.

It was that kind of kiss that makes your knees buckle and your heart shoot up, that's a clicee I know but it's for a reason. If I hadn't been sitting down already, I would probably have sustained fall injuries.

Later that evening he said "I really wanted to kiss you, I just couldn't figure out how it was going to happen". Kissing is one of his favourite things, and he is really good at it. When we kiss, it is as if he's another, more confident person who has no doubts as to what he wants or how he is going to get it.

That was almost a year ago now. He was quite upset afterwards, said he knew it would lead to no good and that I would end up getting hurt.

I said wait and see, next Christmas we'll be spending together for real, and not in painful phone conversations.

And it looks like I was right. But maybe I need to kiss him when we meet up this afternoon just to check.

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1 comment:

Thanks for not just lurking..

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