Friday, 30 December 2005

Quantity vs. quality

J said that he thinks that in a week where we don't see each other much, we have about the same number of arguments and bad moments as in a week where we see each other lots.

Cuddles -the staple of any great relationshipIt's true. I don't know why.

You'd think that if we saw each other less, we'd focus on being nice to each other and bicker less.

But that's not the case.

When we don't see each other much, everything about J annoys me more.

If he's 10 minutes late, I get restless; if I give him advice while he's cooking dinner he takes as a criticism which I then find irritating, and so on.

Maybe it's because when we barely see each other, it's because we're generally busy and stressed, which makes us touchy and critical of everything including each other.

Also, all we do is eat in front of the TV before passing out in bed, with or without having sex first (depending not on energy levels but on morning schedule).

Hardly conducive to a great relationship, I know.

And indeed, after having spent a whole week together, only punctured by me spending time seperately with my friends on a few occasions, things are going exceptionally well.

We had a really lovely day yesterday; we got back quite early, watched Elf on DVD (which in addition to being a completely ridiculous piece of film making, annoyingly was scratched at the last scene; anyone want to tell me how it ended?!) and ate and talked lots.

I don't think anyone has ever liked me as much as J does.

I say that not because I think he likes me extremely well, as I know he finds me annoying at times, but because he seems to make a conscious effort to like me even when I'm unlikeable, eg. in a grumpy mood or unshowered in my house clothes (an outfit I am not allowed by myself to wear more than a block from my flat).

I told him this, and he told me later on in the evening that it really meant something to him.

Maybe because he doubts his own feelings for me so much, he relies too much on my judgement of them.

Maybe I should just say "but clearly you do love me!" and see what happens.

Yeah right. Tried that. Didn't work.

Although he did say that "there is definitely something there".

And then he asked for a cuddle.

He had a hard time getting out of bed after tucking me in for my early night.

And now I'm wondering if planting the idea in his head that he might after all love me but be in denial about it, is unethical.

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  1. Of course it isn't... wait until he's asleep snd keep repeating it, over and over.

  2. I was thinking one of those hypnotapes. He's a very deep sleeper.

    Oh and I like your new pic!


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