Sunday, 1 January 2006

Arguments: Making you horny?

Now let me start off by saying first of all that J and I never really have proper fights. We just have heated discussions.

And I don't mean that in an ironic way; we both hate confrontation and it never escalates into saying deliberately hurtful things although it can be just as painful sometimes.

The point being however that it appears that the heated discussions make us both horny.

Several times I've caught J with a hard-on during one of our 'where is our relationship going'-conversations.

Maybe not a raging huge one, but definitely a noticeable trouser hill.

Why is this? I'm a bit mystified.

I hope he doesn't have some kind of emotional trauma fetish which leads him to torture me in the way he does by saying he doesn't love me etc. etc.

Although I have to admit that I've noticed a certain degree of wetness in myself as well in the middle of a traumatic exchange.

Is this my body saying 'oh my god, hold on to this man at all cost, and remember, the best way to do this is by providing a warm and supple, tight... embrace*'?

Or am I the one with the emotional trauma fetish? After all I do seem to seek it out; I refer here to the brilliant examples of gay and US ex respectively.

Yes, Rhett, carry me away for some make-up sex


Although I didn't really have proper fights with either of them so can't provide any statistically significant evidence of argument hard-ons from those relationships, unfortunately.

And of course, as soon as J and I are done with the usual few hours of me saying I want commitment (God, how I never thought I'd find myself in that situation) and him saying he'd love to live with me but feels it'd be wrong (needs therapy!!), we fall into bed.

The kissing is unusually frantic, we tear each other's clothes off if we're not already naked (we often have 'where is our relationship going' arguments in the buff) and because we're both ready to rock the sex is always completely explosive.

Which I guess is exactly how you develop a fetish; by learning to associate sexual gratification with something inherently asexual.

I know obviously that having an argument with your partner gets all kind of adrenalin and other hormones raging in your veins, warranting a fight-or-flight reaction.

Sex provides both; physical response and emotional flight.

Still though, there is something worrying about lecturing your boyfriend about commitment, just to find he has a hard penis poking at you in the middle of your monologue.

The other bizarre thing of course is that no sex also makes you cranky. So no sex is bad, but then leads to arguments which then leads to sex. I hope I never have to try to be celibate, it would all get very confusing, even in a neurotic and overanalysed relationship like mine.

We didn't fall into bed last night simply because we were both sick so neither of us could shoulder doing all the work.

Having that said, my sore throat is really itchy and could do with some scratching when I get home. Now where do I find something long enough to reach the back of it?

*That's a Buffy quote for you uninitiated people

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6 comments:

  1. Great post and so true. Being scared shitless has the same effect, hence our fascination with trashy horror flicks.

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  2. Thanks for visiting my blog. 'Hope to see you again sometime.

    Happy New Year!

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  3. Hi, Happy new year!

    Thanks for yet another cherishable experience!

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  4. I was just going to make a comment about that phrase "trouser hill" - fantastic, really - and then wish you a happy new year. But I read your posts about USX and just sat here, thinking about it. What beautiful, beautiful writing.

    Happy new year J's G x

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  5. Happy New Year, may all your dreams come true girl
    I love your honesty and your gone with the wind analogy

    Long live your passion hopefully sprinkled with lots of love
    Portuguesinha

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  6. Thanks for so many kind words, it's really appreciated! I'm sure 2006 will be glorious for all of us.

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Thanks for not just lurking..

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