Sunday, 8 January 2006

Fall for the underdog

When I got out of bed this morning, J was still asleep.

When I came from the shower he started calling my name in half-sleep, wanting a cuddle, which I had time for at the expense of breakfast.

Chin up, Gerrard...
At least I've dismissed the theory that Liverpool never score when I watch
Last night when he put me to bed, he suddenly said with surprise in his voice that it was lovely to come home to me, that with me everything was easy.

I'm almost worried things are going too well.

I think I have an underdog fetish.

J got back from football yesterday afternoon. Despite the opponents apparently shouting "watch that one [J, ed. note]; he's their matchmaker" in Cockney, the whole team sucked ass and would probably be unable to "score in a brothel" as one ex-flatmate of mine would have put it.

They'd lost 7-0, but this was swiftly forgotten as Liverpool pummelled Luton 4-3 in the last half of the FA cup game which we watched over the dinner he'd sacrificed the first half to make (the sweetie -and he says he doesn't love me!).

The strange thing was, I really wanted Luton to win.

Not just a little, a lot. Much more than I usually care in a given match.

Now you might think I'm somehow projecting some gripe against J onto the pitch by rooting for his team's opponent, but that's not it.

I wanted Luton to win because they're the underdog. They have to play in a league called 'the Championship', for God's sake. The name wouldn't be so bad if it actually was the top league, but since it's not, kudos to the marketeers who came up with it and shame on the audience that puts up with this stupidity.

We checked the result in the middle of the first half, and Liverpool were up one. As I switched over for the second half, I could hear someone was scoring, and was utterly surprised to see that not only was it a Luton player, he was the second one to do so.

I watched, transfixed, (J watched in pain) as Luton increased their lead to 3-1.

There was a passion and hunger in their play which was completely absent in Liverpool's overpaid and overcelebrated side.

I obviously had to keep this new team afiliation to myself as to not appear the worst girlfriend in the world, but when the tide turned and someone (probably Gerrard) settled the score for Liverpool, I was genuinely disappointed.

Now this would be OK if it applied to sports only. But this reflects how I live my life. I always fall for the underdog.

A frighteningly large proportion of my exes (if not all of them) have either had mental health problems, drinking issues and/or difficult family backgrounds.

I think this is due to a strange insecurity in me; although I know I'm a capable and loyal partner, I'm not sure if others see it so.

So I go for people who clearly need me, where I can contribute something tangible to their life. I have had several people tell me they wouldn't be here today if I hadn't pulled them out of the hole they were in.

Also it might be boredom. Everything else in my life has come so easily (except, sadly, money) that I seem to challenge myself on the relationship front just to have something to do.

And then, when their life is better and self esteem higher, they leave and find someone who's stupider than them and prettier than me.

Or I just get fed up with the mothering role and leave them behind.

J easily fits into this pattern; he's clearly a very confused man from a ridiculously dysfunctional family.

But his life has improved so much over the past year that I'm getting a little worried it might come to an end all of a sudden.

However, he is also funny, intelligent, generous, handsome and as ridiculously sexy as his family is dysfunctional.

How often do you get that in one package?

I have to hang on to this one.

Even when he's not the underdog anymore.


  1. What I don't understand, and I've been reading you for some time, is this; J has found a beautiful (I'm sure), intelligent, sensitive and very, very funny woman WHO LOVES FOOTBALL. And yest he hasn't proposed.

    I'm almost inclined to come and take you for myself.

  2. Like you, I also find myself cheering for the underdog most of the time. I think most women have this instinct in their genes - the instinct to protect and support the weak as we do with our children. This is part of our maternal instinct...
    Hugs, Marie

  3. I think everyone has a bit of a heart for underdogs. When we watch an underdog pull though it reminds us that even we can excell now and then in areas we struggle with. They're an inspiration really. I lucked out with my boy, I adore football even though i'm not very good at it, and shorty after we paired up I found out he's pro at it. (I was surprised, at first I had him pegged as a geeky computer sci nerd, Turns out he's a geeky comp sci nerd with a whack load of football trophies. :D)

    By The Way, I may be cute, but your positivly adorable dear.

  4. I am a big fan of underdogs, my boyfriend definitely is one. Try having a boyfriend who's been going thru a divorce for 3 fun lol.

  5. Underdogs are so much sexier because when they win, they had so much more to overcome!

    Go underdogs!

  6. overactive-imagination9 January 2006 at 20:49

    Comment first and then questions:

    You seriously underestimate yourself. You need to act (because it's true) as if you are THE VERY best that J can possiby find in a woman. The way you feel about yourself and the way you portray yourslef to your partner (and others)is usually the way that they will perceive you and therefore how they will treat you. Feel and act second class?...that's how you will be seen and treated.
    You my dear are a goddess and he should be thanking his damn lucky stars that he has you. NOW ACT LIKE IT!!/rant


    I am a stupid American (not really but it sounds good right) and know nothing of your football/soccer stuff other than my daughter plays soccer and you call it football. So when you talk about our soccer , do you still call it "football"? and if so.... then what the hell do you call our "football".
    Just curious!

    Have a great one!

  7. overactive-imagination9 January 2006 at 20:50

    More stuff from the american....

    You will probably find that if you root the oposite team that J time is MUCH more fun for the both of you.
    Just saying..

  8. You know, marriage isn't everything! :P

    Anyway, the Liverpool Vs. Luton game was Excellent! What a game! I slightly support Liverpool.


  9. Thanks for all the kind support; it is really encouraging! Although does being supported so much make me less of an underdog and hence less attractive..?

    I'm not desperate to get married, but I do want to buy a flat. I think he knows how great I am, he just doesn't trust his own feelings.

    And Dawn, thanks for that, you're so right. I should really stop doubting myself as there's no reason! I'm great! At least most of the time. Great enough to make up for the times when I'm crap. But we Europeans aren't allowed to bang our own drum like that, and I can only do it because this is an anonymous blog ;o)

    Oh, and we call it 'American Football'. J, coincidentally, is a fan. If you want a lecture on 'soccer' rules, let me know; I'll come to the US, we'll go for dinner and I'll explain it all using the salt-and-pepper shakers from neighbouring tables.

  10. And J. A.; you *are* cuter. Trust me or I'll have to arrange a poll.


Thanks for not just lurking..

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