Tuesday, 17 January 2006

Late night phone calls

J just called me to say goodnight. We won't be seeing each other as I'm at work still and he's getting up really early.

He was very sweet, telling me about football results and saying he just wanted to hear my voice before going to bed.

The early part of the relationship between J and I was based on late-night phone calls.

Because we started living in different cities almost as soon as we (that is, I) started thinking about becoming an item, we've probably spent almost as long together on the phone as in person.

It's strange, having phone conversations with someone you love.

While you're talking to them, you seem to miss them less, but as soon as they're gone, you miss them even more than you did before you spoke.

I remember being on the phone to another boyfriend, a smoker; he always used to smoke while he was on the phone, I could hear him inhale while I was speaking, but never exhale. And I could see his hands in my head, the way they always held the cigarette, the way his lips would purse around it.

J doesn't smoke, he used to go outside his house when we were talking, for privacy. And I honestly think he used to tell me things he wouldn't have told me had we been face to face.

I could always hear cars passing in the street, I could tell from his voice what he was wearing (comfortable => lambswool sweather; shivering voice => washed-out white T-shirt).

And of course, we'd both get ridiculously horny on the phone, despite never actually discussing sex as such.

J used to say at the end of conversations that he didn't know how to say goodbye, that conversations like that have to be ended with a cuddle, and everything else is inadequate.

It's true. Yet I'm thinking that long period of being forced to talk rather than shag to get to know each other has helped make our relationship what it is.

I'm just hoping that us moving apart again won't have the opposite effect.

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