Friday, 20 January 2006

Nice day for a white wedding

J and I are going to a wedding tomorrow.

I love weddings. All kinds of weddings. I used to work in catering so I've probably been to more than most.

Having that said, there are two kinds of weddings.

The kind that makes you really want to have the whole shebang; both families, church, ridiculous dress, all the relatives and all your friends who can walk or crawl to the reception.

And the kind who makes you think that the best way is probably to sneak to Vegas and come back married, or possibly not marry at all.

J's flatmate remarked the other day that no wedding is complete without a fight. I've known of weddings where the bride got punched, and one where the bride's father attacked the groom and had to be taken away by police.

She is stuck in an impossible situation where her family is deeply religious and her fiancee is as deeply atheist.

Her mother, who sees this as her own last chance for the huge church wedding she never got herself, swears she'll disown her daughter if she gets married outside the church.

By 'disown' I suspect she means 'withdraw the offer to put in a deposit for a flat'.

I can't even begin to say how glad I am that it's not me. How do you choose between your family and the family you're hoping to start yourself?

Part of me thinks both parties are being ludicrous; if you really believe in God, then surely you know He will forgive your daughter for getting married in a heathen way, as God alone is the judge of sinners. And the atheist; if you don't believe in God, why do you care if you're being blasphemic?

But on the other hand, I think that if I were getting married to someone non-Christian, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to denounce my faith on my wedding day.

And a devout atheist feels as strongly about his views as those adhering to more traditional ideas of religion.

Flatmate's fiancee simply says he doesn't want to lie on his wedding day by swearing to bring up his children in the Catholic faith (which he certainly isn't intending to do).

Fortunately, for tomorrow's wedding, the respective families are suitably matched for piety.

I am hoping for good food and drink, a good party and a reminder for J that relationships do last, even between very different people.

And if not, I'm sure there'll be at least one good fist fight.

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