Wednesday, 1 February 2006

How it all began II :: Fate intervenes (several times)

If you've not caught the story of the first stumbling steps of my acquaintance with J, you can read about them here.

After having managed to get his attention, quite a long period passed consisting of longing looks.

It's weird having a crush on someone in the office. For a while I actually thought I might have invented it just to get through my ridiculously boring job.

Top 10 Signs You Have a Crush on Someone In Your Office

  1. When you receive emails from them, you always read them immediately, even when the subject line reads 'Office fridge needs cleaning - any volunteers'
  2. You start thinking really carefully about what you wear to work every single day
  3. When you don't get to say goodbye to them on the Friday, it can ruin a whole bank holiday weekend
  4. You invent excuses to pass their desk
  5. You're spending disproportionate amounts of time hovering around the office common area in the off chance they might come along
  6. You attend office nights out with people you normally can't stand just in case your love comes along
  7. You start conversations about work with friends just so you can mention them
  8. You deliberately linger around the coffee machine to eavesdrop if anyone else mentions their name
  9. Going to work on a Monday morning doesn't seem so bad. Neither does the faulty air conditioning in the office or your hopeless manager
  10. You're in complete denial of all of the above

I didn't want to let on that I liked him unless I knew he was single, especially since we worked in the same office, but then on the other hand he was a very private person, so I couldn't figure out how to ask him if he was single without letting on that I was (really) interested.

But there was that kind of tension, where you just know something will happen between you and the other person, clichees would best describe it as 'electricity in the air' or 'magnetism'. We'd run into each other in the stationary room and the air would be so sizzling with tension that it's a wonder the ink cartridges there didn't catch fire and explode. Sounds ridiculous, but it's true.

Again, fate came to my rescue. One day I came into work and he wasn't there. Thinking he might have taken a long weekend, I didn't think much of it, although I was already at the stage where I was counting the days till next time.

The next day he wasn't in either. When I ran into his manager in the bathroom, she told me he was in hospital. I was quite worried, and wondering if I should phone him to see if he was OK, having cunningly managed to get his number when he was giving me the lift, but thought it would be a bit overly concerned.

The third day on, he was back at work, I ran into him and asked him what had happened. Basically he'd been at a friend's dinner party, where they'd tried to fix him up with a girl. He'd gotten quite nervous as she wasn't his type at all (yay!), and had inhaled a piece of food which had gotten completely stuck in his throat.

And so he'd spent three days in hospital on a drip because he couldn't eat or drink anything, before they finally managed to fish the bit of food out.

Poor J.

Although most importantly I had established that he was single.

So a week later I invited him over for dinner; we watched a silly film with my flatmates and sat up and chatted until four in the morning. I sat in a chair, he was in the sofa. He talked so much, and when I said he seemed very chatty he said it was very unusual for him. Which made sense as I'd never seen him actually having a watercooler conversation with anyone in the office.

Unusually for me, I was determined not to make the first move. I guess I sensed it might scare him off. I could tell he was dying to touch me, but not why he didn't go ahead and do it. In other words, the epitome of our relationship.

We started going jogging together, went to the cinema (where I was ridiculously horny the whole way through a crap film), he walked me home from office nights out but never kissed me.

Despite my best intentions to not make the first move, after months of this nonsense I'd reached the limit. I knew I might physically burst unless he either kissed me or explained why he didn't want to.

So one day when we were sitting in my living room, I asked him if he would ever be having sex with me. And he said no.

I was gutted. I couldn't understand it. I'm of the (not so modest) opinion that anyone who turns me down is either gay or an idiot. I'd established he was neither, so I really didn't get it. We got along like a house on fire, there was enough sexual tension to heat Birmingham through a cold winter and he couldn't take his eyes off me.

"But why," I said. "Don't you find me attractive?"

"Of course I do," he said. "I'm just not going to act on it."

But of course he wanted to be friends.

I got my way in the end though. Installment three of the saga will tell you how...


  1. I love it!!! Can't wait for the next episode.

    I LOVE those sexual tensions that develop... you find your heart beating a bit faster, or making unneccesary journey's to other parts of the office just to see or be seen. Sadly, it's not the same with me and Lola in my room at the back of the house :-(

  2. Glad you like!

    What you need is a sexy neighbour...

  3. Ahem, I can neither confirm nor deny the points made about how to know if you fancy someone in the office.

    But, I did laugh a wee bit too hard at the food inhalation bit - sorry, but it's comic to imagine that he was so distraught over not liking this other women, that he inhaled a piece of food! ^_^ Bless.

    Although, having said that. I can totally understand not wanting to have the sweet love with a girl you find attractive. Despite the anxiety, I am sure it's more of a turn on for the gal - right? right?!


  4. They're selling next door if you fancy a change of scenery.


Thanks for not just lurking..

Peer Review Section