Thursday, 2 February 2006

How it all began III :: HNT III (clever, eh?)

Did you not catch the budding stages of our romance? In which case, see here forhow it all began...

If you're here for nekkidness, skip the dross by clicking here

And if you're actually here to read the post, prepare to have your screen-reading attention span severely challenged...

Clearly, as winter moved along, the level of tension between J an me was starting to rival that of the Middle East conflict on a bad day.

Christmas was nearing, and on the last evening before I was leaving to visit my parents, he came over to hang out.

I guess somewhere inside I'd already decided to make the plunge, as the break would give me time to recover from any rejection and embarrassment that might ensue. Naturally I was in complete denial about this.

My flatmate, "Tim nice but dim", kept sitting in the living room and making inane comments about not knowing what to give his parents for Christmas. He wouldn't go away, in that annoying way which I think is ultimately the most common last drop in making people opt for morgages over freedom.

So we decided to go for a walk. We walked quite far, arms linked, all the way down to the bank of the Thames, it was freezing and just as we reached the river, it started to rain. Not heavy warm summer rain, but an icy drizzle that made its way into every fibre of your overcoat and made it ridiculously heavy.

Still, I hardly felt the cold, I kept sneaking looks at J's face, the water drizzling down his forehead and dripping from his dark eyebrows, across his (I imagined) incredibly soft lips, the upper one protruding ever so slightly further out than the lower one, giving his mouth an almost girly but in fact just downright sexy look.

We got back to the house, dried off a little and saw that to my (and I'm imagining our combined) relief my flatmate had finally retired to his bedroom.

We were sitting on the sofa, talking about music. J has a rather conservative taste in music, whilst I like to think I prefer indie rock. However I have a very large soft spot for pop music as well, and when I said I identified with Nelly Furtado's I'm like a bird, he started laughing out loud at me.

I leaned over to punch him, but being that close to his face I was simply sucked in by my own feelings and kissed him.

I still think of "I'm like a bird" as our song, even though it wasn't actually playing at the time.

It was one of those kisses that just seal the deal completely. I could feel my knees buckle even as I was half way stretched out on the sofa, and it really could have gone on forever with me starving to death in the process, and I would have thought it was worth it.

I could tell he felt the same way. There was a rawness and a hunger to it, I hadn't had sex for months, and neither had he, which probably contributed, but sometimes you just have good chemistry with someone. He pushed me over, pulled his shirt off and started undressing me.

To make a very long story short, leaving the details to your imagination, I blew him to the best orgasm he had ever had (I've obviously topped that many, many times since though...) and then we had sex in the morning.

And, some time late that evening, he told me again that he wasn't interested in a relationship, just a "fling". Part of me somewhere was hurt by that, but the vast majority of my brain was in denial, so I just went along with it.

Over the break we spoke on the phone for at least two hours each day. He would randomly call me and say he just had to hear my voice.

And I could tell he had doubts. "I feel so guilty," he would say. "I don't think I'm capable of feeling what you feel, you shouldn't be with me." Yet he kept phoning.

When I returned he picked me up at the airport. "How long will our fling be?" I asked. "Until the end of January," he said. "And even that is taking up too much of your time."

At the end of January we really did resolve not to speak for a while so he could make up his mind. It lasted about two weeks before I called him to talk. We spoke on the phone for about half an hour, and later on that day he called me back and said he wanted to come over to see me.

More legs... J likes them. But promise more fun bits next week

He decided to spend the night as he lost the last tube home by the time we'd finished talking (not reaching any conclusions of course), and I let him sleep on a mattress on the floor. He reached out his hand to touch me, and I was thinking how incredibly wrong it was not to be with him. He was holding my hand tightly, and eventually he sat up, leaned over and kissed me. I couldn't not kiss him back even though I sort of knew it would lead down a very long and winding road.

When his therapist told him two weeks later that he had to hang onto me at any cost, he decided to go for it and become my boyfriend.

And that, as they say, is how I became J's girlfriend.

A fitting post for our impending first anniversary...


  1. Yipee - I just love a good romance ;-)

    Happy almost one year - and Happy HNT to you!!


  2. Congrats on your soon-to-be one year anniversary!

    Happy HNT too!

  3. Beautiful post and photo! HHNT :)

  4. Gorgeous! HHNT and Happy impending anniversary!

  5. overactive-imagination2 February 2006 at 23:21

    You've been tagged. Pony up Girlfriend!


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