Thursday, 9 February 2006

Relationship pet peeves :: HNT IV

How do you keep a relationship alive after the first frantic madness is over?

If you're here for nekkidness, skip the dross by clicking here

Every relationship at some point turns into something akin to being friends who can have sex frequently without it being an issue.

Suddenly you wake up and realise that there are things about your hitherto perfect partner which are actually quite annoying.

For instance, five annoying things about J (with redeeming factors so I don't feel guilty blackballing him):

  1. He takes ages to get ready for bed. He'll be saying "I think it's time to go to bed." I play playstation for another 40 min, take my time cleansing, toning, brushing my teeth, flossing etc. etc. and I STILL manage to come to bed before him. It's not that he sits around watching TV interim, he just seems to... take ages. Redeeming personality factor: He never gets mad if I'm running late.
  2. He is not very practical. The other day, the pole inside my wardrobe fell down (NOT, I hasten to clarify, due to any excessive shopping sprees on my behalf) and my friend P who happened to be around, just climbed into the wardrobe with a hammer and nails and instantly fixed it. J could never have done this, he would have panicked about breaking the wardrobe completely. Now it's not that I couldn't have fixed it myself; being smaller I would in fact have fit into the wardrobe more easily. No, the point is, sometimes it's just nice to have practical things sorted out for you. Redeeming personality factor: He always carries my groceries for me.
  3. He takes ages making any kind of decision. Obviously best demonstrated by the fact that he still doesn't know (after a YEAR!) if he wants to commit to us or not. However other entertaining examples arise if he's trying to pick a card for someone's birthday, or even worse, is playing chess. Redeeming personality factor: Hm... can't think of any here. He is however quite patient when I get impatient.
  4. He dresses very conservatively. Men should wear more pink shirts. Period. Redeeming personality factor: He did agree to buy a pair of jeans, and has even been wearing them on a regular basis. I see hope.
  5. He defends his mum even though she's completely horrible. I realise this is even worse for him than it is for me, as she guilt trips him expertly every time they meet, but it's still annoying when he takes her side when I know I'm right. Redeeming personality factor: He openly admits that it's wrong of him to side with her, he just can't help it.

I seem to notice these things more when we see each other less, which is bizarre, because you'd think that it'd be more annoying if I had the pleasure of experiencing them on a more regular basis.

I have come to think I find them annoying because we have less chance to experience the closeness that makes the annoying things less irritating.

I hate it, J loves it

Last night, for instance, we talked properly for the first time in ages. J has been very distant lately, and I knew it was because he's not enjoying work at the moment as he has a new and seemingly quite horrible and incompetent boss.

So he told me all about how he feels inadequate, and how he feels he is doing his best but it isn't good enough. As is most often the case with J it's actually good enough for everyone else, it's just not good enough for him.

To me it's obvious he should focus less on his boss' often insensitive criticism and more on the positive feedback he gets from other people, and the things he actually knows he's done well, but to him seems that if one thing goes wrong it means he is generally bad at his job.

We had a good chat and a cuddle, and he said afterwards he felt better. I hope he meant it. I feel closer to him when I feel like I'm of some use, and I think he feels the same way, which is why I think he gets so upset sometimes when he thinks there is nothing he could do for me that I couldn't do for myself.

Anyway, I woke this morning and he was just ultra-cute and not at all annoying.

And a happy HNT to all!


  1. I no longer wear a tie and love to wear pastels. But took many years a decsion to make a career change. Although, at time I do miss driving the hearse.

  2. I like that you tried to give him redeeming qualities for all the negitive. That was good. And his negitive wasn't that bad, except the mother thing

  3. Mmmm. Navalness. Could there be anything more sexual? Margaret Thatcher in latex, maybe, but I won't say for certain. Such a tough call.


Thanks for not just lurking..

Peer Review Section