Tuesday, 14 February 2006

Vaginas and Valentine's

When I spent Valentine's day in the US, two things shocked me:

a) The average US girl's obsession with what she's getting on V-day (present wise)

b) The fact that the average US girl thinks it's embarrassing to say VAGINA.

OK, so despite my piss-taking V-day is actually a good thing, campaigning against abuse of women. Click here or on pic for more

As you might or might not know, advocates of the play "The Vagina Monologues" tout 14 February as Vagina Day. Boys, themselves lacking a vagina, can wear t-shirts reading "I support your vagina" by way of compensation.
Fair enough; better than discriminating against the world's singles for a whole six weeks of brainwash marketing from every high street shop, crowned with a whole day of naming and shaming of singles as inferior.

And of course, female circumsition is awful, although male circumcision isn't that great either, and there's still no Foreskin Day on the calendar as far as I know, despite the campaigning of 'grow a new foreskin' groups. Perhaps an idea for next year?

But honestly. The people I lived with in the US were all raving on about how 'empowering' it was to shout VAGINA out loud along with the rest of the audience (part of the play, kind of like singing along to the Rocky Horror Picture Show). Purrrlease.

Call me callous, but I really don't think that shouting the clinical name for your genitals is in any way embarrassing, or for that matter, empowering.

If you want to be respected as a sexual being, and as a woman, you need to deal with the first issue I mentioned above, ie. stop expecting your boyfriend to buy you things, open your doors, protect you and give you chocolates once a year.

What's with this ridiculous pressure on guys to buy girls ever more expensive presents? To the extent that one day can at all make up for taking someone completely for granted on the remaining 364 days a year, I don't see why guys should get away with it simply by lining up in Godiva's at 1745 on V-day.

Also, it should be mutual. Why do girls go on about wanting amazing gestures from their men, only to go out and buy them a pair of M&S boxers in return for the fifth year in a row? OK, maybe not that bad, but you get my point.

And then to go out and have a meal surrounded by other couples forced into a romantic mood, where you never get a proper menu because inevitably they only do set meals due to great demand.

No thanks.

6 Things I'd like for Valentine's Day
(not expensive either for the most part)

  • A bunch of roses with a card saying "I've changed my mind, I want to move in with you" (as handed to my best friend from her boyfriend two years ago; they just bought a house. Too bad I won't be getting one of those this year)
  • Coming home to a nicely cooked candle-lit dinner, or preparing one for my boyfriend if I get out of work first
  • A text at 2 minutes past midnight saying "Happy V-day baby and we can now think we're seeing each other 'tomorrow'" (as received from J last night)
  • The text messages from my family saying they love me and miss me
  • A mixing tape of music I like put together by my partner (I've done this for J and he loved it; I realise tapes are bit passee, but his car is very old!)
  • Sex. And lots of it.

See, almost free. You can't run around and demand respect for your vagina one minute and then wanting to be treated like a kept woman the next. Not even for one day each year. Get your degree, be your own boss and be respected for that; not for looking pretty and being homecoming queen.

Although I have to admit that when my ex (who was in fact from the US) gave me flowers on 13 February "because it was a lot cheaper than getting them on the 14th" I had one of those "Oh my god this relationship is SO over" moments.

Yet I think I respect my vagina, usually.


  1. What's a foreskin? I've been checking and I can't find it... can I really grow a new one? Please help.

  2. Blimey, you're very low maintenance. I like that. The only card I got was from Sky TV, enclosing three vouchers providing someone else with a free set-top box if I cared to pass them on (let me know if you want one... it's Sky+). Still, it's nice to know someone loves me.

    I'm not too sure about shouting "vagina" simply for the purpose of empowerment... I can only speak for myself but if I went around shouting "penis" I'd feel like a dick.


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