Friday, 26 May 2006

The life stages of porn enjoyment

I'm considering renaming this blog to 'mind fellatio'. Whaddayathink?

Tons of teenagers in search of porn would hit on this site and get pissed off at the wasted click.

Popcorn and porn... best at home
I don't know about you, but I think porn is mostly just one of those stages everyone has to go through.

Having mentioned wanting to be 16 again yesterday, I regress further.

When I was about 14, we used to hang out at my friend's house; her parents were massive yuppies (who later got declared bankrupt, I believe) and she had a whole floor to herself, with a bar (no alcohol though) and a an enormous corner sofa in front of which was a huge TV and a VCR.

We used to watch masses of German soft porn; RTL and Sat1 used to supply plenty after about 930 at night.

Sometimes films too.

Then the guys would whack off together and we girls would watch. They sometimes did that thing of cumming on a cracker and forcing the last guy to cum to eat it...

Actually now that I think of it, it's a wonder I'm not mentally scarred for life.

Then, when I was a little older, we had this hard core film called 'the Champion's Cup' which got passed on to each guy in our group on his 18th birthday.

I can only vaguely remember what was in it; I think it had to do about a very large black lady teaching a very ugly white man (why are men in porn always hideous, unless it's gay porn?) how to lick pussy. It was quite amusing but hardly arousing.

When my friend T turned 18, he had a huge party and the video tape got lost somewhere in his house. It was never seen again, but he was in a cold sweat for weeks lest his parents might find it wedged between two sofa pillows.

We girls didn't get the Champion's cup, we only got sex toys. I was given a chainmail g-string and my best friend got a purple double-ended dildo.

Funnily, we never used any of these things, and to this day I've only ever had sex with one of the guys.

In a strange way, the porn really bound us together to watch porn, and although we were all secretly turned on a little by watching "Robin Huge and his marry maidens" and the like, I think we liked it mainly as a dirty secret we shared.

When one of the guys got a girlfriend who came by as we were enjoying a Western-themed masterpiece and demanded we turn it off because it was 'disgusting', we all knew that would be it.

That was ten years ago, they are now married and he's barred from speaking to any of his friends.

Later in life I've had brushes with porn, I've dallied with web chats and a brief stint of nude photos and a video camera with my US ex (video thankfully wiped, but God knows where he has those negatives), but I've not properly watched porn for years and years.

Many men seem to think there are no girls who like porn, but I quite do, if it's quality stuff and not too ludicrous.

But without my friends there, taking the piss with hard-ons badly hidden behind sofa cushions, it's just not as fun.

3 comments:

  1. "Then the guys would whack off together and we girls would watch. They sometimes did that thing of cumming on a cracker and forcing the last guy to cum to eat it..." GROSS!!!

    I like porn, actually, and so do most of the women I know. But obviously at the right time, and in the right place.

    Have a wonderful, long weekend x

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, no, no. If you want to get loads of google hits from testosterone-laden boys you should rename your blog: "paris-hilton-cum-fest-anal-chicks-nude-celebrity-mud-wrestling."

    I'm just saying...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I also noticed that kind of thing on straight porns: the guys look ugly! But on gay porn they look so gorgeous and hunky!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for not just lurking..

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