Sunday, 23 July 2006

How to be happy?

I know that being happy makes boring blogging. But today I really am quite content. A big, fat 7 out of 10, I think. Which is a lot better than I have been lately.

"All these days that came and went... Little did I know that they were Life"
I agree with my reviewee; blogging about when you feel miserable is mostly a waste of mine and everyone else's time, as I just end up being bored to tears and ashamed of myself for complaining when clearly so many people around the world are worse off than me.

Take the Lebanese, for instance. Or the people in Mogadishu. Or a girl I just spoke to who lost her baby about a month before it was due.

What are my complaints? I don't have a job for much longer, I haven't had sex for over a month (eek!!) I don't know if my boyfriend wants to stay with me forever, I just had a cancer scare, I miss my family desperately, and I think my tummy is slightly flabby (J thinks not), bloated and crampy.

I should really just shut up. About the unhappiness, I mean.

Another reason I'm happy today (other than I think I should be) is that J came over in my lunch break at work, bringing crispy duck and other Chinese takeaway pleasures. We ate it outside , where the sun was setting, while reading the Observer and enjoying the for once comfortable temperature. I could live like that.

J has been practising his mindfulness meditation this week, at the behest of his therapist. I really think it makes sense. We spend so much time worrying about our future, past or the unwashed dishes, that we forget to sense the grass between our toes. It sounds simple and obvious in a 'stop and smell the roses' way, but it's really very hard work.

I've been trying to be 'mindful' myself, and although I think I'm a more naturally 'mindful' person than J in general, it's really hard to just stay in the present for more than about 30 seconds at a time.

I rememnber noticing at about the age of 14 that I felt less 'present' than I had used to when I was a child. I guess growing up unfortunately means a tendency to get completely wrapped up in yourself instead of noticing life as it passes.

I am planning to give him a 'mindful' blowjob as soon as I get a chance, as a reward for his hard work. Or just as a reward for myself? It's hard to tell the difference.

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3 comments:

  1. Thanks for the advice you gave me. I found the trail the ants were coming from and they were getting in through a window. So far, all is good. Enjoy your day.

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  2. Here's to boring, mundane, HAPPY posts.

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  3. what is mindful meditation, anyway?

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Thanks for not just lurking..

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