Wednesday, 9 August 2006

On the topic of slags

I could be called a slag. There, I've said it.

At least as in "I've slept with several men who weren't my boyfriend and duly booted them out the door as soon as it was overwith."

Honey, I need help with the VCR...
I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but I'm certainly not ashamed of it either.

I have one friend who's only had sex with one man; they're now married (although they didn't wait until the wedding night; there was nothing religious about her decision to stick to the one). I don't hold that against her.

But sometimes I just get really pissed off with men's attitude to this. What

Last night, my wonderful neighbours invited me over for an on-the-spur barbecue.

The boy there is a chef, and little by little, as we were enjoying vodka coctails and marinated kangaroo (yes, really, and lovely it was too), his colleagues dropped in to parttake in the feast.

They were all foreign, as bar staff tends to be in England these days, except for one 18 year old English twat.

You could tell straight away that he was trying to hold his own and be 'cool' around people 10 years his senior; obviously he hadn't reached enlightenment and the conclusion that trying to be cool immediately makes you uncool.

He was talking about this girl that my neighbour is pursuing at the moment.

"I keep telling him," he said loudly, "she's a complete slut. She's been passed around like I don't know what."

I object to that on two grounds. What exactly is a slut? Someone who doesn't lie back and think of England, and actually enjoys sex enough to want to have it with several people (potentially at once)?

Secondly, 'been passed around'? No, bottles are 'passed around'. Women aren't, unless you're a human trafficker, group rapist or male chauvinist.

Hopefully, mr School Leaver Incredibly Dumb 18 year old fell only into the latter category.

I confronted him on this. "What exactly makes her a slut?" I said. "Would you call yourself a manwhore if you slept around?"

He was immediately flustered and said that of course he would. Then he said that she had slept with both him, his brother and my neighbour "and that was only the start of it."

"One time she had four boyfriends on the go at once," he said.

Which, I think you'll find, says more about men's immense stupidity than about her sexual morals.

And excuse me, sharing sex partners with your brother? I can't pinpoint it, but something is slightly wrong there. Especially when you boast about it.

I am thinking he only got laid with very few girls (he wasn't very handsome or, as you can probably tell, charming), and is a little upset that she didn't think him very special.

"Have you ever thought that she's probably picked up a few tricks along the way, which could be a good thing?" I asked.

Again, he was lost for an answer.

Now I'm not advocating wild promiscuity. I think it's important to be careful in these Chlamydia times.

But it pisses me off when men start going on about women being sluts, slags, whores and the like.

Afterall, it takes two to tango... And you never hear those same men say that about their male thug-friends.

It says something about their attitude to women in general, it indicates that they are immensely scared by female sexuality and very insecure about themselves as a man.

Maybe they all have small penises (which there's nothing wrong with unless you're generally crap in bed)? I don't know.

And without making any sweeping generalisations, there are a lot of men like that here in the UK, who are incredibly sexist and think that women should be kept barefoot and naked in the kitchen.

The culture insists on 'girls night out' and 'going to the pub with the boys'; I keep meeting people who have never had a close friend of the opposite sex.

Before getting married, men have "stag" dos and women "hen" nights. Stags => symbol of male virility and dominance; "hens" =>domesticated bird. I rest my case. It's sad, really. And worst of all, women don't seem to mind.

Maybe not being a ballet-dancing, cookie baking, non-tree climbing, pink-and-frills clad child playing with dolls has ruined me for life.

Or maybe I have the right to say, do and shag what and who I like without being judged for it more than my male counterparts.

I end with the story of my friend, who was crossing the road inside a supermarket car park.

She didn't see a car approaching, or rather the car didn't see her, he almost ran her over.

But instead of apologising, he leaned out the window (of his fat ultra-polluting BMW) and shouted "YOU FUCKING SLAG!!!" at the top of his voice.

Crossing the road makes you sexually promiscuous these days, it appears.

Be careful when you cross the road, girls; remember, without a good reputation, you'll never get married.

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  1. Can't believe you ridiculed the poor lad. You're being a meany. If I was out to rile you I'd say something like "wassa matter with you, not gettin it lately?" but that would be crass, and you'd have me murdered. It's true though - if a bloke shags two sisters that's seen as a feat, if it's the other way round and it's two brothers, it's seen as akin to incest. We're an inherently chauvinstic society.

  2. You've just summarised very nicely why most of my friends are women. And I say that as a man who genuinely has slept with two sisters (honestly, Kieran).

    The only issue I'd take with you, actually, is to single this particular culture out for it's chauvenism and sexism. There are many that are far, far worse.

    Have you been cross the whole time I've been away?

  3. I'm not cross! OK, maybe a little.

    I'm not denying that many cultures are a lot worse (those practising female circumcision / genital mutilation being a case in point), and that's why I choose not to live in them... My head would explode! What irritates me in Britain is that so many people seem to think they're very liberated, whilst really, Kieran's right, chauvinism abounds.

    The two sisters; would they be Scottish??

  4. Chauvanism is everywhere. There's little point in making an example of the UK.

    I think you are being a bit of a meany.

    Maybe this girl was a total bint, who knows? No need to crucify the poor little half-wit, he probably doesn't know any better.

  5. Love this post.

    I don't live in England, but things seem just as one sided here in California. Though, it seems for the most part, that men don't expect us to be barefoot and pregnant at home anymore. They enjoy that we bring home some bacon.

    But I've come against the same critisism... I'm a slut for sleeping with half as many men as a "stud" has had women.

    Amusing to say the least.
    Just know who you are and why you're doing what you're doing...
    Fuck everyone else.


  6. Blondie, you're last sentence is a stroke of utter genius. Brilliant work.

  7. I'm bloody sure I left another comment to say "No, they were from Ipswich, actually". Anyway...

    No, they were from Ipswich, actually.


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