Sunday, 18 January 2009

Is drinking around your kids OK?

Ah, it's as you can see ridiculous-o-clock in the morning, and I should really be asleep to give myself energy for studying tomorrow. But alas, no.

I came back a couple of hours ago from a lovely trip into town with a group of friends, one of them just turned 31 and I gave him a flask for him to bring his coffee in to work, he really appreciated it. How old we are growing, no, really! We had some pizza and burgers and lovely chat, and I am very grateful that I have these people where I can be totally myself and say what I please, and just completely relax. I feel incredibly lucky.

After the dinner and a few drinks we moved on to another birthday party, another loosely related group of people. The couple hosting the party have two kids, but had obviousy shifted them onto someone else for the evening, and were busy getting tipsy and rolling joints under the table.

OK, so call me uptight, but I don't actually think kids should be exposed to really drunk people. I mean, of course, as long as the party is quiet (which this one was) and the kids don't wake up and come downstairs (which they didn't), I guess it doesn't matter that much. One of the couple in question grew up with an alcoholic parent, so I guess to her that's normal.

I don't know why it riles me. It isn't like they're drinking excessively in the way of falling over or becoming aggressive. And they don't have a car so if they suddenly had to rush to the doctor with one of the kids they'd need a cab anyway.

Maybe I'm just prudish? I like to think that I just object because I think it deprives parents of energy they should be spending on their kids in the morning (say what you want but nobody can be up drinking until 3 in the morning without feeling some amount of pain when getting up at 0700 the next day), and because seeing parents drunk could make some kids feel insecure. But I have to admit I think a large part of it is just this vaguely and I feel largely unfounded moral objection I have to drinking around kids.

I didn't see my parents in any way affected by alcohol until I was an adult, although they undoubtedly had a drink or two if they were away for a few days for meetings and such. So that's how I was raised. Am I uptight, or is this a reasonable opinion to have?

I guess studying psychology points out to you all the things that could potentially go wrong with raising children, so you become extra wary. But I still feel a bit judgmental and uptight. Eurgh. If you have kids of your own, or a drinking problem, or you're an ACOA, I'd really appreciate it if you left your 2p worth on this.

But now. I am taking inspiration from that photo and pissing my prejudiced self off to bed.

4 comments:

  1. I am an ACOA thanks to my dad. As a kid, I remember liking the times when he was drinking because he was a little more fun. We would talk/debate, listen to Beatles tunes, and stay up late. That would be when he'd drink by himself at home. When he went out and then came home drunk, that's when him and my mom would fight. I have mixed feelings...even though I liked those late-night conversations, if I knew what the alcohol would turn my dad into, maybe I would have made an effort to show him that I didn't approve of his drinking. Que sera, sera.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm really enjoying yours.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the compliment! I was mentally revisiting this issue last weekend.. maybe more to come on it later.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's all about responsibility. Even when my kids aren't around me: I act like they are. Except when I smoke doobies under a table and drink til 5 am. lol

    I think some people are simply irresponsible and have little lack of judgement: kids or not. They'd be that way. As an adult I have watched the intensley irresponsible parenting (via my father and step mother now removed, go figure) rearing of my 18 year old sister. It has molded my parenting skills. One good thing I suppose to come of it.
    NOt a prude.
    NOt uptight.
    Responsible.

    thanks for stopping by: not one taker on the pimp my ride ... SOB.

    lol
    d


    Fer shame.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
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